Weddings And Situation Ethics

Weddings and Situation Ethics

  

When the Lord first brought the woman to the man in the garden, Adam recognized the significance of two beings becoming one. In a paradise on earth surrounded by the newness of God’s creation, Adam and Eve began the long line of unions that would flow from the first covenant to an untold myriad of promises spanning cultures and traditions that remain to this day. A marriage union begun with a ceremony of pomp and circumstance is an occasion of beauty and love as the bride is presented to a man in union of marital blessings. With the exception of the covenant made with God through the blood of Christ uniting the spirit of man with the redemptive grace of salvation, no other decision is of greater importance. With great fanfare a wedding is planned with a frenzied pace, and details are examined closely to ensure the memories of the wedding day reflect as much joy and happiness as possible – and most of the time it turns out like everyone wants it too. A wedding is an experience to say the least.

One of the great joys of being part of a wedding is when people of God come to unite their hearts in one with the promises not only of the marriage bond but the union they share with Christ. The bride and groom seem to radiate a deeper tone of love when they come together as one in Christ to become one in life. This time of uniting two hearts is a wonderful opportunity, not only witness the blessings of marriage, but to also show the example of Christ in the lives of those being married.

As children of God we share our faith by our lives and by our example reflecting to the world the values that separate us from the trivial pursuits of a careless world. Paul admonished the Corinthians to be different from the world. “Do not be unequally yoked together with unbelievers. For what fellowship has righteousness with lawlessness? And what communion has light with darkness? And what accord has Christ with Belial? Or what part has a believer with an unbeliever? And what agreement has the temple of God with idols? For you are the temple of the living God. As God has said: ‘I will dwell in them and walk among them. I will be their God, and they shall be my people.’ Therefore ‘Come out from among them and be separate,’ says the Lord. ‘Do not touch what is unclean, and I will receive you. I will be a Father to you, and you shall be My sons and daughters, says the Lord Almighty’" (2 Corinthians 6:14-18). This separation makes us distinct in our character in every way. We are special people. Our lives are governed by the relationship we share with the Lord as He dwells in us as temples of the living God.

To the church at Ephesus Paul exhorted the Christians to “be renewed in the spirit of your mind, and that you put on the new man which was created according to God, in true righteousness and holiness” (Ephesians 4:23-24). The spirit of the child of God is measured by true righteousness and holiness. The apostle goes on to describe how the “new man” puts away lying, anger, stealing, corrupt communication and so forth (Ephesians 4:25-32) and becomes a “follower of God as dear children” (Ephesians 5:1). These principles guide every decision for the child of God so their conduct of life is evident to all as one showing forth the holiness of God. “As obedient children, not conforming yourselves to the former lusts, as in your ignorance; but as He who called you is holy, you also be holy in all your conduct, because it is written, ‘Be holy, for I am holy’" (1 Peter 1:14-16).

The wedding of a Christian is a time when all of these principles of holiness can be shown to a world that cares little for holiness. Yet it is often a time when situation ethics becomes the driving force instead of showing the distinct nature of Christ. In a world given over to fleshly exaltation, the dresses for brides and bridesmaids evidence the provocative and sensual nature of a careless world. Very revealing dresses have become almost common place in the weddings of many Christian women. Shoulders are laid bare that pale in comparison to the open backs and exposed cleavage in not only the brides but their attendants. The ethics of the situation is such that the bride (and maids) might wear a dress for the wedding they would never wear anywhere else – especially to a worship service for the Lord. Because it is a wedding, an argument is made for the difficulty of finding a “modest” dress and the bride presents herself in attire that is immodest.

Peter warned the woman in 1 Peter 3:3-4 – “Do not let your adornment be merely outward; arranging the hair, wearing gold, or putting on fine apparel; rather let it be the hidden person of the heart, with the incorruptible beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is very precious in the sight of God.” The impact of this verse is not addressing the lack of clothing but the problem of too much clothing exalting the woman in the outward apparel instead of the inward. While this principle can be applied to a wedding the lesson of modesty should not be lost on the immodesty of most wedding dresses today. A wedding is a special time for a woman of God to show her inward beauty and not flirt with the passions of the world. It is a time when a woman radiates the true character of God’s love in showing her life in harmony with the principles of Jesus Christ.

Just because it is a wedding should we allow an exception on how we dress? Should a Christian woman (or man) allow the fashion styles of the world to determine their example of faith in how they dress? Modesty is not ruled by the word of man but the word of God. The body should be used for the glorification of God not man. If a bride cannot find a wedding dress that is modest, then she should show her example of faith by wearing a dress that is modest and according to holiness. If fathers want to give their daughters away in holiness, they should exercise wisdom in what their daughter is wearing on her wedding day. Mothers should not enable the material desires of their daughters by helping them have a wedding that is based upon the fleshly rites of the latest fashion magazine. Young people who want to show the world their home is built on Jesus Christ should make certain the apparel for that wonderful day is something the Lord Himself would be pleased with.

The influence of the world has ingratiated itself in the weddings of Christians by suggesting that champagne toast and dancing are permissible and acceptable. Seeking to be different from the world is less the motive in weddings fully embracing the raucous nature of the lust of the flesh, the lust of the eye and the pride of life (1 John 2:16). Sanctification to God in the holy bond of marriage is more than words spoken to one another. It is the heart committed to showing the world the home established by those words of fidelity are founded upon the example of faith in the wedding ceremony.

“Finally then, brethren, we urge and exhort in the Lord Jesus that you should abound more and more, just as you received from us how you ought to walk and to please God; for you know what commandments we gave you through the Lord Jesus. For this is the will of God, your sanctification: that you should abstain from sexual immorality; that each of you should know how to possess his own vessel in sanctification and honor, not in passion of lust, like the Gentiles who do not know God; that no one should take advantage of and defraud his brother in this matter, because the Lord is the avenger of all such, as we also forewarned you and testified. For God did not call us to uncleanness, but in holiness. Therefore he who rejects this does not reject man, but God, who has also given us His Holy Spirit” (1 Thessalonians 4:1-8).

Sherman And The Red Sea Crossing

Lee Kennett writes in his book "Sherman, A Soldiers Life" the president of Columbia College writing General Sherman asking his military judgment "on the feasibility of the Israelites' miraculous flight across the Red Sea as described in Exodus. It was the commanding general who answered his query in precise, mathematical terms: assuming that each man, woman, or child in the act of walking took up a space of two feet by three, and each ox three feet by nine, then two million Israelites with a million head of cattle 'could be compressed into a space half a mile broad and six miles long.' If they could maintain a speed of one to two miles per hour they could easily pass through a half-mile wide defile in the space of six to nine hours. 'Of course the Israelites were not organized or compact as an army,' the general noted, 'but rather resembled a stampeded crowd'; even so, he felt that with Pharaoh's host at their heels they would have moved along at ample speed." (page 324).

Interesting analysis from a military perspective.

Current book reading

About to finish the book, "Sherman - A soldier's life" by Lee Kennett. It is an interesting story of a man who became more famous for his "March through Georgia" than any other part of his life. A West Point grad he tried a lot of things in life - soldier, banker, investor, superintendent of what is known today as LSU and lawyer. When the Civil War broke out he entered the Army again and while did not distinguish himself in the early days as much seemed to redeem his ability in the battle at Chattanooga. He was a man with great conflict within himself and left a legacy that is a challenge to decide if he was insane (as some charged) or a man who struggled to maintain a career of solid leadership. Often he vacillated; sometimes he was clear in his leadership. After the war ended he was in charge of the "Indian problem" and exercised the same characteristics as during the war. Villified by some and hailed by others. History shows him to be both.

What is history?

History was a trash bag of random coincidences torn open in a wind. Surely, Watt with his steam engine, Faraday with his electric motor, and Edison with his incandescent light bulb did not have it as their goal to contribute to a fuel shortage some day that would place their countries at the mercy of Arab oil. ~Joseph Heller, Good as Gold

History is a kind of introduction to more interesting people than we can possibly meet in our restricted lives; let us not neglect the opportunity. ~Dexter Perkins

History never looks like history when you are living through it. ~John W. Gardner

History is the sum total of the things that could have been avoided. ~Konrad Adenauer

Each time history repeats itself, the price goes up. ~Author Unknown

Take from the altars of the past the fire - not the ashes. ~Jean Jaures

To remain ignorant of things that happened before you were born is to remain a child. (Cicero)

Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it. (George Santayana)

We cannot escape history. (Abraham Lincoln)

Not so loud

The Bible is a most fascinating book. Within its pages we find the mind of God revealed to man in the wonderful message of redemption. History opens from the beginning of time unfolding the creation of man and his continued battle with himself and one another. Nations are painted on the canvas of time rising and falling. The climax of the Bible story is found in the life of Jesus and the door of salvation opened on the day of Pentecost. Revelation completes the message with a symphony of hope and praise with the gathering of God's people surrounding His throne in Heaven.

And then you read Proverbs 27:14 - He who blesses his friend with a loud voice, rising early in the morning, it will be counted a curse to him.

The wisdom is thinking of others in this passage. While there are many deep theological teachings in scripture, often the Lord places tidbits of common sense applications in our relationships with others. Paul reminds us to "look out not only for [our] own interests, but also for the interest of others" (Philippians 2:4). The apostle also reminds us to "be kind to one another" (Ephesians 4:32) and it would be a kind thing to be mindful of others in the early morning.

Did you ever have a college roommate that woke up happy and you were still in la-la land? What about the spouse who jumps out of bed excited and ready to meet the world and you have not even turned on the coffee pot yet? The morning is made for quiet and calm and those folk who just want to get so excited early in the morning can "be counted a curse" (in a nice way of course). So is there a lesson about being mindful of the sleepy people in the morning? Maybe the Lord has a good message about being kind to people in the early morning.

A deeper lesson from Proverbs 27:14 is the boastful action of those who would tend to seek self-glorification from their neighbors. Adam Clarke wrote, "He who makes loud and public protestations of acknowledgments to his friend for favors received, subjects his sincerity to suspicion; and remember the Italian proverb elsewhere quoted: - 'He who praises you more than he was wont to do, has either deceived you, or is about to do it.' Extravagant public professions are little to be regarded."

Here is the danger when we receive great praise from those who do so with insincerity. Nor should we take opportunity to do the same. Especially in the early morning.