Weddings And Situation Ethics

Weddings and Situation Ethics

  

When the Lord first brought the woman to the man in the garden, Adam recognized the significance of two beings becoming one. In a paradise on earth surrounded by the newness of God’s creation, Adam and Eve began the long line of unions that would flow from the first covenant to an untold myriad of promises spanning cultures and traditions that remain to this day. A marriage union begun with a ceremony of pomp and circumstance is an occasion of beauty and love as the bride is presented to a man in union of marital blessings. With the exception of the covenant made with God through the blood of Christ uniting the spirit of man with the redemptive grace of salvation, no other decision is of greater importance. With great fanfare a wedding is planned with a frenzied pace, and details are examined closely to ensure the memories of the wedding day reflect as much joy and happiness as possible – and most of the time it turns out like everyone wants it too. A wedding is an experience to say the least.

One of the great joys of being part of a wedding is when people of God come to unite their hearts in one with the promises not only of the marriage bond but the union they share with Christ. The bride and groom seem to radiate a deeper tone of love when they come together as one in Christ to become one in life. This time of uniting two hearts is a wonderful opportunity, not only witness the blessings of marriage, but to also show the example of Christ in the lives of those being married.

As children of God we share our faith by our lives and by our example reflecting to the world the values that separate us from the trivial pursuits of a careless world. Paul admonished the Corinthians to be different from the world. “Do not be unequally yoked together with unbelievers. For what fellowship has righteousness with lawlessness? And what communion has light with darkness? And what accord has Christ with Belial? Or what part has a believer with an unbeliever? And what agreement has the temple of God with idols? For you are the temple of the living God. As God has said: ‘I will dwell in them and walk among them. I will be their God, and they shall be my people.’ Therefore ‘Come out from among them and be separate,’ says the Lord. ‘Do not touch what is unclean, and I will receive you. I will be a Father to you, and you shall be My sons and daughters, says the Lord Almighty’" (2 Corinthians 6:14-18). This separation makes us distinct in our character in every way. We are special people. Our lives are governed by the relationship we share with the Lord as He dwells in us as temples of the living God.

To the church at Ephesus Paul exhorted the Christians to “be renewed in the spirit of your mind, and that you put on the new man which was created according to God, in true righteousness and holiness” (Ephesians 4:23-24). The spirit of the child of God is measured by true righteousness and holiness. The apostle goes on to describe how the “new man” puts away lying, anger, stealing, corrupt communication and so forth (Ephesians 4:25-32) and becomes a “follower of God as dear children” (Ephesians 5:1). These principles guide every decision for the child of God so their conduct of life is evident to all as one showing forth the holiness of God. “As obedient children, not conforming yourselves to the former lusts, as in your ignorance; but as He who called you is holy, you also be holy in all your conduct, because it is written, ‘Be holy, for I am holy’" (1 Peter 1:14-16).

The wedding of a Christian is a time when all of these principles of holiness can be shown to a world that cares little for holiness. Yet it is often a time when situation ethics becomes the driving force instead of showing the distinct nature of Christ. In a world given over to fleshly exaltation, the dresses for brides and bridesmaids evidence the provocative and sensual nature of a careless world. Very revealing dresses have become almost common place in the weddings of many Christian women. Shoulders are laid bare that pale in comparison to the open backs and exposed cleavage in not only the brides but their attendants. The ethics of the situation is such that the bride (and maids) might wear a dress for the wedding they would never wear anywhere else – especially to a worship service for the Lord. Because it is a wedding, an argument is made for the difficulty of finding a “modest” dress and the bride presents herself in attire that is immodest.

Peter warned the woman in 1 Peter 3:3-4 – “Do not let your adornment be merely outward; arranging the hair, wearing gold, or putting on fine apparel; rather let it be the hidden person of the heart, with the incorruptible beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is very precious in the sight of God.” The impact of this verse is not addressing the lack of clothing but the problem of too much clothing exalting the woman in the outward apparel instead of the inward. While this principle can be applied to a wedding the lesson of modesty should not be lost on the immodesty of most wedding dresses today. A wedding is a special time for a woman of God to show her inward beauty and not flirt with the passions of the world. It is a time when a woman radiates the true character of God’s love in showing her life in harmony with the principles of Jesus Christ.

Just because it is a wedding should we allow an exception on how we dress? Should a Christian woman (or man) allow the fashion styles of the world to determine their example of faith in how they dress? Modesty is not ruled by the word of man but the word of God. The body should be used for the glorification of God not man. If a bride cannot find a wedding dress that is modest, then she should show her example of faith by wearing a dress that is modest and according to holiness. If fathers want to give their daughters away in holiness, they should exercise wisdom in what their daughter is wearing on her wedding day. Mothers should not enable the material desires of their daughters by helping them have a wedding that is based upon the fleshly rites of the latest fashion magazine. Young people who want to show the world their home is built on Jesus Christ should make certain the apparel for that wonderful day is something the Lord Himself would be pleased with.

The influence of the world has ingratiated itself in the weddings of Christians by suggesting that champagne toast and dancing are permissible and acceptable. Seeking to be different from the world is less the motive in weddings fully embracing the raucous nature of the lust of the flesh, the lust of the eye and the pride of life (1 John 2:16). Sanctification to God in the holy bond of marriage is more than words spoken to one another. It is the heart committed to showing the world the home established by those words of fidelity are founded upon the example of faith in the wedding ceremony.

“Finally then, brethren, we urge and exhort in the Lord Jesus that you should abound more and more, just as you received from us how you ought to walk and to please God; for you know what commandments we gave you through the Lord Jesus. For this is the will of God, your sanctification: that you should abstain from sexual immorality; that each of you should know how to possess his own vessel in sanctification and honor, not in passion of lust, like the Gentiles who do not know God; that no one should take advantage of and defraud his brother in this matter, because the Lord is the avenger of all such, as we also forewarned you and testified. For God did not call us to uncleanness, but in holiness. Therefore he who rejects this does not reject man, but God, who has also given us His Holy Spirit” (1 Thessalonians 4:1-8).